You Have Been Here All Along

I texted Maizie while waiting for her in the car after school today, "I'm here for you Maizie!"

Maizie responds three hours later to my text, "I know. You have been. You have been here all along."

I thought that was sweet. Maizie, my literal child. I know she does not understand that I was simply telling her I was at the school to pick her up. I would like to think she is expressing how I am always there for her. More than likely she is saying, "Duh. I know mom! You are at home with me right now." She does not understand time or the fact that hours passed between my text and her response.

Posting was on hold for a while in order to keep my emotions and information on the down low in regards to the schooling situation. I am not even going to go into it here. It took way too long but its done and Maizie is in the new school which is what I wanted. So far so good!

Karina planned her own birthday party for weeks before her family knew they were even throwing her a party. Too cute. Karina was determined to try out roller skating. Karina's sister Yeka planned a great party. I do not think Maizie and Karina really realized that they would have to move with wheels on their feet.

Karina gave it a good go. Maizie made it half way down the rink holding on to the ledge and Karina's sister with a death grip. Music, lights, wheels on their feet, people moving fast in a circle over and over. I was pretty sure from the start that Maizie would struggle with skating and the environment. A sensation overload from the start. But you just never know...we had to try!

Yeka went to the kiddie rink to help Karina who was truly giving it her all. Maizie continued to grip the ledge and began repeating to me, "I want them off. I want them off." I knew better than to push her. Her skates were promptly removed and we sat down for pizza and cake. Karina shortly followed....exhausted. These two, they crack me up. It is awesome they tried! The party was fun and despite not handling skating we all had fun.

When I take Maizie and Karina to the dog park or on walks they are seriously like walking with two old ladies. You never get far before the complaining begins. Various aches, pains and hating to sweat. Whining it is too cold or too hot...seriously, it never stops. Ignoring the complaints works for a while, if you are patient and lately being patient is not something I have been excelling at.

Changing schools....again....

Me and Maizie have been doing well and at the same time Maizie has been struggling with increasing aggression. This aggression was not constant but it was happening enough for me to notice I was becoming very worn out handling her aggression once everyone goes home. Many children like Maizie hold off on letting this "expression" of emotions out until they are alone and safe with a trusted parent. This has been Maizie's way ever since she was a toddler. After seeing her pediatrician, neurologist and psychiatrist and questioning school staff to see if there was an explanation I increased her medications. The medications did help much with her increasing melt downs.

Earlier this week Maizie's teacher called to tell me Maizie has been being sexually harassed at school. Two different boys are involved. I took immediate action and wrote a letter documenting what little I knew and requesting an emergency meeting.

The meeting with the V.P., and Maizie's teacher did not go well. Luckily, I thought to bring Brittany along so I had someone to take it in and help me make sure I was seeing the meeting clearly.

I have a meeting next week with the Director of Special Education and the Superintendent. I pulled Maizie out of school immediately after I was aware of these incidents. I did not want her being questioned repeatedly or in any bad situations. The school did nothing to ensure Maizie's safety. She was offered to ride a different bus which I refused. The V.P. assured me verbally Maizie would be safe and this would not happen again. I walked away more concerned then when I arrived.

We have an IEP meeting for next Friday to create a plan to make sure this does not happen again. In other words, I would be making a plan and busting my ass to see that it was in place. Nothing much, if anything would be done for the boys. It seems the school thinks it is my daughter who needs the changes. Similar to her educational IEP (Individualized Education Plan), I would wear myself out making the plan happen. For some time I had given up on advocating for a better education for Maizie. But, that will be a different post.

Maizie's teacher did talk about hiring a para to ride the bus and teach the kids how to interact properly. The boys are said to have a hard time carrying the rules from school over to the bus. While this is a good idea, it would take months, possibly never work and puts Maizie at risk being seated on a small bus with two boys who are very out of control. There is an aide on the bus. It is in Maizie's IEP for a bus to have an aide due to her CVS(migraine disorder). What the aide has been doing on this bus I do not know.

The parents of one boy want me to press charges. I can not bring myself to do it. If I press any charges I will be pressing them against the school. The boys parents, from what I have been told, are at their wits end and don't know what more to do for their son. Pressing charges would possibly put him in a system that is ill equipped to handle his special needs in a way that is not harmful to him. I do not know enough about the system here to trust the police in working with this boy and Maizie.

Yesterday I took Maizie's respite worker Justin to the new and old school with me. Thank God. Having Justin help with Maizie and encouraging me to keep moving forward helped so much. I was tired and all I wanted to do was go home and forget about everything. Which, we all know...forgetting would be impossible.

I saw the video from the bus yesterday and the V.P. said, "It is not that bad." She told me that the student touching Maizie was merely copying a child behind him on the bus who has a tendency to touch others clothing lightly. Believe me, there was NO comparison between what these two children were doing. I have known the child sitting behind this boy and seen his mannerisms for almost two years. Nothing about his behavior was similar to the behavior of what the boy was doing to Maizie. It was all I could do not to turn around in a rage towards this V.P. who was handling everything so coldly and with such slow action, or maybe non existent action. I watched the video and said nothing, sad to see that Maizie continued going through her bag and arranging her papers as she was being touched. It was beyond obvious to me that this situation has been going on for a long time and she learned how to "deal with it". When the video was over I simply stood up and walked past the V.P. She will be hearing from me again through her superiors.

There was no aide on the bus at that time, she was "in the school using the restroom". The aide said after the bus driver stopped the boy that Maizie seemed fine. Maizie does not like being touched under normal situations so for her to react as if this boy was not even there told me a lot about the situation. Needless to say the video did not make me feel any relief as the V.P. hoped it would.

We visited a small school in a town near by and due to the harassment issue Maizie should be able to go there. The Director of Special Ed and Superintendent have to approve her going there there based on the harassment. If they don't it will be another year before Maizie would be able to attend this school. It has excellent security and the principal is amazing. A totally different atmosphere. I have no doubt that Maizie would thrive at this school.

Maizie sobbed when I told her she would not return to her school. Maizie believes these boys are her best friends. This kind of situation with special needs children is very complicated. I shudder to think about the children on this bus who can't speak at all. Maizie can, with time, explain to some degree. Her behaviors speak volumes as well.

When we went to get her IEP and say goodbye to her teacher we saw one of the boys. He was hand cuffed and being carried out by two police officers. The boy was screaming, thrashing and yelling obscenities. Poor Maizie and poor boy. Him being taken home like that had nothing to do with what he was doing to Maizie. Maizie was shaken to see the police with the boy and continues to repeat the words she heard him say. She believes he was upset with her. I have yet to decide if this helped her understand or further traumatized her.

My heart goes out to both of the boys. I know they are struggling and do not fully understand their actions. The school is not equipped to handle the severity of their disabilities. I have to keep Maizie's safety as my top priority.

Maizie has done nothing but regress academically at this school and her melt downs at home have been intense. I have been increasing her medications for aggression after finding nothing significant going on at school or on the bus. Finally, I have some answers. I believe the school thinks that since most of the video shows "outside of clothing" touching it is not as big of a worry. The fact that all of the children are special needs with severe difficulties communicating makes it all the easier for them to blow it off.

As far as Maizie knows the situation is done and she will begin a new school soon. I will not send her back. For me, I am choosing to continue talking with the school's higher ups and make it known that I have more than just Maizie's best interest in mind. A wake up call for this school is in order.