Gems, Canonization, Chanel Lipstick, Urban Exploring and Webkinz..Five Things Meme

I was tagged by Niksmom at Maternal Instincts...Flying By the Seat of My Pants.
I am way behind on tags. I don't think I will be able to catch up so I am starting fresh. Please don't be upset if you tagged me and I never accomplished the tag. Some are more appealing to me than others and once I start procrastinating...well, you know how it goes.

Five things found in your bag: An adorable note I found where Maizie was figuring out how many gems she had left to find. I put it in my purse and enjoy looking at it when I am bored.Above: A canonization card for Francisco Marto and Jacinta Marto. They were said to have seen an angel three times and Mary six times. I picked this up somewhere and loved the picture. Below: Maizie's I.D. bracelet that needs to be updated again. I have got to get that done!

Above: My lovely tube of Chanel lipstick. Color is Santa Barbara. Melissa gave me this in return for some portraits I took of Alex.

Below: Saf-T-Pops sucker put in my purse by Maizie. She gets these at Pizza Hut and always wants to save them for later. They sit in my purse and get all nasty and then I throw them out.

Five favorite things in your room.

A family portrait Maizie drew spontaneously at about age four. Guess who is in the middle.

My "Surrender" rock that I bought myself when Maizie was placed into foster care at age three months due to an adoption reversal risk. It reminds me that God is in control.

My Bunnykins mug. I had this since I was a child. I was always fascinated with the image. Inside the mug I keep a picture of my Grandfather, his brother and their German Shepherd.

Need I even explain? I love Joe and this apple was a gift I gave him when we were dating back in 1992.

My antique Alice in Wonderland books given to me by my Mom.

Five things you have always wanted to do.
*Go on an artist's retreat somewhere warm and beautiful.

*Urban Exploring On a grander scale than I have done in the past.

*Visit Africa

* Spend at least one full hour watching an animal of interest at the zoo.

* Go to Israel with Joe.

Five things you are currently into.
*Playing Webkinz with Maizie

*Lost

*Planning a Weekend Away

*Reorganizing/Decorating House

*Photography

Five people you’d like to tag.Meljo, Pregnantly Plump, Gathering Up the Pebbles, Is This What You Do All Day?, Autism Blog

Chloe Takes us to the SPCA

Yesterday Maizie and I had the honor of taking Chloe to her volunteer work at the SPCA. Chloe was excited to introduce us to her kitty friends. There are four rooms of cats and kittens. Each room has lots of cat beds and interesting toys. Everything was amazingly clean and well organized. We were told to used hand sanitizer in between each room. I had to remind Maizie to keep her hands off of her face due to her allergies. That was easier said than done. This experience was worth a little allergy rash. Inside each room there is a book that has a picture of each cat and information about their personality. Maizie loved these books. She made a point of matching each photo with the cat. There are a few with stories about the cats history.
As you can see Maizie found this information very interesting. After reading the book Chloe and Maizie would spend time with each cat.

I am sure if these Kitty's could talk they would share amazing stories of survival with us. If Maizie was not allergic to cats I bet she would have been wanting to bring one home. Luckily, she knows her limits.
Smarty is seen above loving up to Maizie. This is the cat Chloe warned us about. She came over to us all friendly like so Maizie began petting her. Within seconds she was hissing and scratching at Maizie. A sudden change of heart? Despite her attitude she appears to be one of Chloe's favorite cats to talk about. Maybe in time Smarty will become more trusting. If not, it is good to know he has a safe home at the SPCA.
The orange cat above is named Peter. Peter breaths like Darth Vader. I asked Chloe what that was about and she said he has a cold. I am sure there is an interesting story behind this cat's unique breathing. There was something precious about the sound of it. I wondered if the cat's chances of being adopted were lower due to this interesting difference in breathing? Needless to say, I was drawn to this orange cat with the unique breathing. If we were up for adopting a cat that one would have been mine.
Chloe looks forward to the day when she can have a kitty of her own. Chloe's dog Boomer is possibly a little too excited about cats so her mom has helped her find this wonderful outlet for her love of kitties. Chloe's passion for cats is equal to Maizie's passion for dogs. My other favorite cat was Happy seen above.
After lots of kisses the girls passed out kitty treats. Some of the cats don't trust people and I am sure if they could talk we would understand why. So, giving them each a snack and talking to them a bit helps them gradually build trust towards humans.

Chloe and her mother Susie have inspired Maizie and me to look into working with dogs at the SPCA. The training is pretty intense so I am not sure how Maizie will do. The coordinator said we are welcome to give it a try and see how it goes.

Susie has turned a corner and is finally able to get out of bed after her hip replacement surgery! Almost six days of being in a bed would drive even the most patient a bit crazy. Yesterday Susie had a procedure to block the blood clot from traveling. The massive bleeding and blood clot have brought up some other health concerns that will need to be addressed. It seems nothing is ever straight forward. I am thankful for your prayers. Please pray for Susie's continued improvement through the arduous physical therapy she is now enduring.

I am also thankful for the last seven days. Maizie has not had any episodes of vomiting. She has had three mornings where she required extra sleep but she did not go into an episode. I am keeping my fingers crossed!

Prayers for My Friend

Tonight I have a request. You have all heard of my good friend Susie and her little girl Chloe. Chloe is on the right above.

Susie went in the hospital for a planned hip replacement surgery on Monday. There were complications during surgery and she lost a lot of blood and required several transfusions. Just as she was starting to gain some strength and begin physical therapy a blood clot was found.

Despite this frustrating news Susie's spirits are good and she is hoping to begin physical therapy soon. Chloe is missing her mom. Her Daddy is taking her on daily visits but she senses the stress. Chloe struggles with anxiety and is doing well considering the situation.

Please send prayers of strength and healing for Susie. Prayers that Chloe and her Daddy will sleep well and that their anxiety will be calmed. Thank you.
Yesterday Maizie and I went to the zoo with Chloe. We had a wonderful time. The weather was perfect. Friendship is the bread of the heart.
Mary Russell Mitford (1853)

The Albatross that is our Home...Risk in Moving when Special Needs are Involved

The bathroom is done! Wahoo! Joe's shelves make a huge difference. Storage!
Our tiny house was built in the early 1800's. It was originally used as a place for rail road workers to stay. The tracks run a block over behind our home. You can hear the train whistle several times a day. I always kinda like that.

When we first looked at this house we were drawn to it because it was inexpensive, close to a few friends, cozy and would save us money. Or so we thought at the time. My parents made it clear that buying this house would be an 'albatross around our necks' for years to come. I am not sure why we did not listen. They were right. But here we are. Live and learn.

At the time our health insurance coverage did not cover Maizie's medications since the majority of her health problems were categorized under mental health care. We had no mental health coverage. The cost of medications mounted. We began charging medications and appointments on credit cards. Typically we were seeing a doctor every two to three weeks at three hundred and fifty dollars per appointment...out of pocket. Before long Maizie was hospitalized and our insurance refused to cover that too. It never helped that no one knew how to help Maizie and we were sent on wild goose chases. Before we knew it we were in debt. Joe had been looking for a job with better health coverage and was having no luck. Joe worked for my dad's company at the time and it was heart breaking for me that Joe was having to look elsewhere.

We realized that if we kept going as we were our money trouble would get even worse. Our modest suburban house sold and we scaled way down. At the time it seemed to be our only option. Living down town was something we were used to since we had lived there before adopting Maizie. It seemed comforting to be back in an area where we once had so much fun and freedom.

There was a great stress relief with more money to spend towards medications. Shortly after we moved to this house Joe was asked to work for his current employer. Suddenly we had excellent health care coverage and increased income. If it had only happened earlier! Even with excellent coverage we averaged close to ten grand out of pocket per year for health care. In addition to that we paid for tutoring and educational testing. I spent a great deal of time fighting our insurance company for occupational and physical therapy coverage. But I was beyond relieved that most everything else was finally being covered. Below is Maizie's three year old hand print on our sidewalk after we had to redo the entire sewer run to the alley shortly after purchasing this home.Eventually we moved to the north side of town to take advantage of the better special education system. My younger sister Melissa rented the little house from us and we bought a large home on contract from a friend of my mom's. (that may be an option again?) The schools were better and our tutor was very close to our home. From there we moved on to Jersey for Joe's job. During that time Kelly lived here. After Jersey we moved back in and have been here ever since. We are in a crappy school district and have outgrown our home. It is easy to outgrow a home with one closet! Today I talked to our mortgage person in regards to buying a bigger house. The news was not good. Since we were unable to refinance the albatross we had to reapply for another mortgage approval. By the time all was said and done the government had made several changes to the mortgage approval process. We are approved and have options but they are too risky. A larger sum of money is needed for the down payment. I accepted that we needed to put the dream property out of our minds and we focused on a more affordable, larger home and even that is not working out when we do the numbers. Being upside down on our current mortgage has really put things on hold.

I know a lot of people who are in our position. They have chosen to scale down in order to pay for the services their child needs. It seems that our decision came back to haunt us.
Possibly if we would have moved faster we would not be in this situation? But, like we had a choice. We spent most of the winter in and out of the hospital with Maizie.

The economy is getting weird and the mortgage world is down right bizarre/scary. Our town has just been declared as an 'official declining market' which affects us as well. Being in a Historic neighborhood makes it even worse to sell. Here is little Maizie greeting people as they came through our home on the Historic House and Garden Tour. Joe and I feel that the bottom line is we are not meant to move anywhere anytime soon. We could take the approval we were given and make it happen but it would be tight. I just don't have that in me anymore. Everything with Maizie is too risky. I want to know that if something happened we could give Maizie the care she deserves.

We climb up the hill, slide back down and start all over again. We don't always make the best financial decisions but we are not crazy spenders either. I remember once my mom asked me what on earth we spend our money on? People have no idea how everything adds up. The neurologist is writing a letter so we can once again apply for SSDI. With the new diagnosis of Chromosome Disorder, CVS, plus Autism we have a pretty good chance of Maizie qualifying. The neurologist has encouraged us to apply for Maizie's future. I don't like to rely on government funding for care but I think it may help a bit. Mostly, Maizie may need it as an independent adult. Granted, we choose not to rely on that alone. The funding may not be there one day. The Autism Waiver waiting list here is ten plus years long. Maizie has been on that list for four years. We have been told not to count on the services since they may be cut in the future. Needless to say we don't hold our breaths.
Are we the only ones struggling with finances, health coverage, few schooling options and putting dreams on hold? Unfortunately, I doubt we are.

Works in Progress

Baby Archer was in a great mood Sunday for our little photo shoot. My lil' God child is just the cutest bug. It has been a while since I have taken a photo series of a baby. Archer was a tad ornery when it came to smiling on cue. I guess that's a baby for ya.
Maizie relaxed and cuddled with the greyhounds during the shoot. Once we were finished we all went out for lunch.

Most of the weekend Joe worked on the house. Here is what we wanted to get done on top of our normal daily chores.

*Build shelves in the bathroom. (Joe did an excellent job...done!)
*Paint the bathroom. (still at it)
*Clean the guinea pig cage.....again. (done!)
*Clean the fish tank...the cat fish is missing or being consumed by the snails? (still thinking about doing it)
*Portrait session for Baby Archer. (done...well, I still have the tweaking work left but the session is done)

Back in the day we could have painted this bathroom in less than a day. Everything seems to take forever now. I really wanted to finish painting the bathroom tonight before Maizie gets back tomorrow from a sleepover. She can't be here while we paint. I don't want her smelling the fumes. Will I finish it in time? I doubt it. Not for lack of trying though.

Sunday night we took Maizie to see Nim's Island. It was fantastic. Maizie loved the movie and so did we. When Maizie heard Nim say she was home schooled she looked at me with the biggest surprised eyes. By the end of the movie she was requesting a pet lizard and wondering why we can't live on an island. Too cute.

Weekend Warm Weather Bloggy Break

The weather is beautiful and right now Maizie is feeling pretty well. I will be taking a weekend bloggy break from posting and reading blogs. I will be back to catch up on Monday.

After a trip to the dog park Maizie and I are going outside to hunt for bugs. Check out Dog Park Days for pictures from our recent run at the dog park. I hope you all have a healthy and happy weekend.

Do You Like Change?

Our mornings still begin like this....Lil' Miss Maizie is sound asleep under that blanket after the usual morning CVS episode. We are frustrated and at the same time this "monster" illness has become a part of our routine...a part of our lives. A combination of intense belly pain and head pain over takes her.

I am praying she out grows this soon. Most children do. And then again Maizie is not like most children. It has been a little over a year since our trip to the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. It is very possible we will be going there again.

The picture below is how Maizie looks by six at night. We went out to dinner with Rod and Rhonda and she was able to see her little friend Madelyn. Madelyn and Maizie were discussing adoption together. Since they are both adopted they tend to bring this up whenever they see one another. Maizie asked me what her birth mother did to take care of her when she was a baby. I explained that her birth mother ate healthy foods, listened to country music (obviously this is where Maizie gets her love of Dolly Parton and all things country) and prayed for her and us...a lot. Madelyn likes to point out that she is from the Philippines and Maizie is not. Sometimes it seems there is a little competition between them on who has the most unique birth story. The two of them never cease to amaze me when they bring up adoption.

Maizie has been loving her new MP3 player. She wears the big ol' headphones because they, "feel good". It is quite entertaining listening to her sing as I drive. I especially like the quiet time or being able to listen to my own music.
I sure do appreciate the comments about my new hair do. It has taken some major adjustment. Every time I look in the mirror I am like, "Gadz!? Where is my hair?" It looks quite different to me. I don't know how long I will keep it like this but for now it is fun having a new style to work on in the mornings.

I am all for anything different right now. Yes, it totally clashes with what Maizie wants. That is the struggle. I like changes. The way our day is laid out right now about sends me over the edge sometimes.

I enjoy new challenges, new places, rearranging furniture and spur of the moment get togethers. These things don't seem to go with Maizie's personality very well. If anything..my need for change and the fact that I don't fear it has probably come in handy in dealing with Maizie's ongoing and ever changing health challenges. Accepting change has come in handy when it comes to her education techniques, therapies and social struggles. I am much more willing to move on and try something else. I figure God is trying to teach me patience and how to enjoy the tiny...the subtle, more dazlious moments in my life.

Does your child with special needs like change? Do you?

My Cut and Color Upsets Lil' Miss Maizie

Tonight I had my hair cut and colored. Feeling the need for a change I decided to cut my long hair into a short wispy cut and began the process of coloring it lighter. Changing my hair is nothing new for me. I have had it almost every possible length but I have never drastically changed the color since we adopted Maizie. I knew I was taking a risk in upsetting her but such is life.

Upon picking Maizie up from my sister's house she looked at me and broke into a very loud maniacal laugh. I was a bit shocked when the laughter continued for quite some time. Finally, she calmed down and we were off.

Throughout the evening she would begin the hysterical laughing and tell me to look away. At one point she requested some help and I obliged only to hear her scream, "No! Daddy do it!" She closes her eyes and begins to shake a handful of silverware at me and says sternly,"Because of your head! I need to have Daddy do it because of that (pointing to my head). I need you to get rid of that now!" Needless to say Maizie has not taken well to my new hairstyle.

I asked if she thought I looked the same or different. She said, "You are different. A different person." I assured her I was the same ol' mom regardless of my hair color and style. Quickly, she ran from me and insisted Joe play Webkinz with her.She did let me tuck her in bed. This was the ending to her bedtime prayer,"I pray that Ma's hair wears off. Thank you God. Amen."

Maizie will come around by the end of the week. Until then I walk a fine line of taking her concern as seriously as it feels to her and trying not to laugh at her endless requests that my head be somehow changed back. I wondered if getting my hair cut would inspire Maizie to allow her hair to be cut for the first time in months. I will not be holding my breath.

For me, I like the new haircut and color. The change feels pretty...pretty good.

Anxiety Before A Play Date and Maizie Teaches

This morning I could not get up. All I wanted to do was sleep. I hate days like that. Once again it was gloomy, rainy and the darkness brought me no motivation. Maizie nudged me. I woke up and she put my iPhone about two inches from my eyes and said, "Incoming message from Melissa".

My sister Melissa texted that she was coming into town and wanted to meet Maizie and me for lunch. Very nice! I had plans with friends for a play date. I sent Melissa a text invite and she agreed.

Suddenly I was nervous. Next the questioning...do I tell Maizie so early in the morning that we have a play date? Or will the anxiety of waiting push her over? Do I tell her that Aunt Melissa and Alex are going to be there too? Can she handle the excitement? I looked at her for signs of an episode coming on. Would she be able to handle the smells and the noise of the food court? I counted the hours and the minutes until it would be time to leave.

I made no decisions and took my shower. During my shower I continued with the analysis of how to go about the morning. Can you believe I actually think that my choices and decisions will determine whether or not Maizie gets sick? Despite all these years I still fall back into this pattern of behavior. Obsessing over something that I have very little control over. It is exhausting and futile.

I decided to wait and tell Maizie a few hours before we were to be there. She seemed calm and agreed to dress, brush her teeth and picked out her favorite Hannah Montana CD for the car. Susie called confirming our play date. So far so good.

At one point Maizie began to look pale and sleepy. I felt a wave of dread but refused to give in. Laying down for a bit tends to help but she refused. I figured we were doomed for another half day of hiding indoors.

Finally, it was time to go! Alex arrived wearing her very special winter hat that has not left her head in weeks. A new type of security blanket? Very cute nonetheless.I take a quick photo of Maizie and Alex in front of the gum ball machines.

The girls all played together for a while. Maizie refused to join in but sat with me and seemed content enough. I visited with Susie, Janeen and Melissa. Maizie listened and began asking for lunch. Fair enough.
After lunch the girls played as Maizie sat patiently waiting. She complained about the noise a few times and began requesting that we leave. We lasted one hour and fifteen minutes which is good. After saying our goodbyes we took off to run some errands where Maizie insisted she not be made to get out of the car. That makes running errands a tad challenging.

The last two days I have tried to go to the store and have been unable due to Maizie refusing to leave the safety of the car. Tonight when she asked for a certain special food I reminded her why we did not have it. With Joe in Jersey getting to the store is a problem.

Later we went to Grandma and Grandpa's house where Maizie began an impromptu language lesson with Alex and Christian. Too cute!
As you can see Maizie was only able to keep their attention for a few minutes. Next they practiced Yoga.

This is the 'relaxation pose' that did not last long enough.

Maizie Imitates Her Hero Jeff Corwin

The sun was out again today so we took off for the dog park. Maizie is totally in her element at the dog park. She is more outgoing there than me. Here are a series of questions she asks of every dog owner.

*What kind of dog do you have?
*How old is your dog?
*What is your dog's name?
*Does your dog know any tricks?

Maizie follows up with a kind comment like, "Your dog is pretty." Every once in a while she will say something like this, "Do you know that your dog is a bully? Sometimes our dog Stella is a bully." She does not say these comments to be mean they are simply observations.

Everyone is cool with Maizie and answer her questions despite being asked them repeatedly. Maizie has her favorite dogs and owners who she no longer asks the same questions. With those special few she moves on to more in depth dog question and answer sessions. The dogs that play with her and show her attention are her favorites.

At one point today she sat on the bench with her head down and said, "Ma, I am so sad." We were at the dog park! Maizie is never sad at the dog park. I asked her why and she said, "The dogs won't play catch with me." It was true, there were about eight dogs there at that moment and all they wanted to do was run, wrestle and sniff.

We sat on the bench for a while and Maizie took this shot of us together with the iPhone. I thought it was cute.After a while most of the other dogs went home and Maizie was able to roam. Searching in a mud hole she found a long worm.
I watched as she gently put the worm over the stick.

Next, she looked at me with the biggest smile! "Look! Look! It is a snake! A beauty! See it! See it!" She was working like Jeff Corwin, searching for a "snake" and placing it over the long 'hook' so I could get a close up look. Maizie was so excited with her find. After I looked and took her requested photos she dug a hole for the "snake" and put it back in its little home.

To an observer this is just one more kid playing in the mud. But, for me this is another one of those dazlious moments that I breathe in and appreciate. It is progress in playing.