There is a Shift Happening....

Today Maizie and me met Robert and Dustin at the zoo. Robert is an home Dad. Like me Sheri and Robert figured out it was much easier to have one parent at home caring for Dustin who has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Both Maizie and Dustin struggle with memory issues, insomnia and varying learning and communication difficulties. Both are adopted and share remarkable adoption stories. Robert is the first at home dad with a special needs child that I have met.

It probably would have been better to visit a park where Robert and I could have just sat there. Instead, we braved the zoo. There was something about Maizie and Dustin today. Dustin had missed a medication and seemed to be doing well but as Robert pointed out he was getting a bit "flippy". Maizie has been on edge for a few days. Her morning naps have been missed and she has been waking in the early morning. Maizie insists everything go her way and it is really grating on my nerves. I have been lacking in patience and rather than listen to her beg, I tend to cave in to her demands. Sigh.

The two of them, Maizie and Dustin seemed to feed off of one another. Maizie was obsessing over riding the horses and then Dustin began requesting to ride the horses as well. We allowed them to ride the log ride on their own and once that was done Maizie was on to begging for the next ride. I tried setting down the rules but to no avail. Maizie was on the verge of a melt down. I doubt Robert noticed. Was Dustin on the verge as well? I did not notice if he was. It is interesting that I can see the very subtle red flags of an impending melt down for my own child but it takes a great deal of time with another child to learn their signs.It is apparent that when Maizie and Dustin are together things will be about moving quickly from one thing to the next. Typical for both of them to be like that, possibly even more so when the two are together. But, that is okay. Seeing Maizie interact with a child closer to her age with similar struggles is precious. I think they have made a connection. It will be up to us to figure out what activities would best entertain them when they are together.The goats were extra jumpy and hungry today. As I was taking pictures they were jumping up against my legs, scraping their dirty hooves down my legs. I was not pleased. For some reason they seemed extra stinky to me today. I love this picture of Dustin and Maizie smiling. I would have enjoyed being a little mouse observing them on the log ride. Did they talk to one another or just sit there? I asked Maizie what they talked about and she refused to speak. I guess I will never know. Dustin seems to have a lot to say so maybe he spoke and Maizie listened?

Tomorrow is Maizie's testing for the Children's Autism Center. Finally. Maizie is excited to go. She told her little friend Chloe that she is going to that "Autism place". Sometimes she talks about Autism briefly with her friends. Simple, passing phrases. She says, "I will go to that Autism place. I am nervous." I don't know what her friends parents say about Autism or if they have ever even mentioned it at all. I explain to her friends that Maizie learns in a unique way. Maizie is extra sensitive to noise and light so regular school does not work for Maizie. They nod and smile and before I know it they both run off playing.

Sometimes when I go to bed I think about Maizie and how she is getting older. This week she hung up Jonas Brothers posters on her wall and requested to put their music on her MP3 player. I wonder about her inability to do simple math, remember her phone number or understand the passing of time. I marvel over her ability to read and spell and interact with animals. I want everything for her and yet I know...

Things are changing and I welcome it and yet it scares me. Where will Maizie's growing up leave me? So much of my life is all about Maizie. Life gets that way when you have a child who is so reliant on you. Where do I begin and Maizie ends? There is a shift happening. It is welcomed and yet it brings me to my knees.