Knitting and Perfectionism

I wanted a new challenge recently that would be relaxing and keep my hands busy. I decided to try knitting again. Years ago a friend in New Jersey taught me how to knit a blanket. She is from Latvia and knitted a bit different than Americans. I learned her way but when we moved I totally forgot what I was doing. Not to mention the blankey I knitted for Maizie was somewhat of a lopsided mess. She loves it and still uses it despite its unique appearance.

I found this awesome knitting store where you can drop in and learn to knit a scarf. I returned there almost every day the first week to get help fixing my mistakes. I have signed up for a class to learn how to read patterns and my project will be a hat. I am looking forward to this class. Knitting does not come easy to me. I am in no way a natural. Maizie wanted to try as well. She will only knit when we are in the store and the owner is working with her. In a few weeks she has completed about four rows. That is a very slow moving scarf! I am proud of her for trying and keeping an interest.

Sally found out I was learning to knit and was immediately requesting that we go together so she could learn how to knit a scarf. She picked out a beautiful green yarn and within a few minutes her teacher said, "Sally, you are a natural." Sally's biggest challenges are waiting to get help to fix stitches and being too hard on herself when it does not look perfect.Of course if Sally was learning Emma insisted she had to learn as well. Before I knew it I was taking Emma in for her knitting lesson. I forgot to get a picture of Emma knitting because she was a little more difficult to teach. Emma, like me...is not a natural. She had to take several breaks and worked hard to reign in her frustration. When she came home she wanted to knit again but when she realized she could not get it perfect she melted down. I encouraged her to set her knitting aside and wait for another lesson.

We go back into the store soon so the girls can get help fixing their "oops" spots on their scarves. Sally insists she is addicted and all she thinks about is knitting. I hope she keeps working hard at it. Like me Sally finds knitting to be a stress relief. A calming of the mind.

Mimi has not been forgotten. She is always taking my knitting stuff to me and saying,"I want to knit now Marla! Everyone else knits but me!" Oh no. I'm going to take her in soon and have her use some of my yarn to see if she is ready. I remember my friend from Latvia telling me that children there learn to knit when they are three and it is taught in the schools. She believed that knitting early in a child's life helped them to focus, relax and to learn that completing something takes time. She went on to say that children there don't have the challenges of focusing that many American children have. I don't know about that but maybe there are some real benefits to learning a solitary skill like knitting.

All four of the girls are very hard on themselves when they are trying something new. Mimi was coloring last night and began crying a few times because she could not make her "sea monster" drawing look exactly like it did in the book. Emma is even more determined to be perfect within the first few minutes of trying something new. Sally and Maizie are harsh with themselves if they don't meet their very high expectations.

Where does all of this perfectionism come from? Genetics? Learned? I wish the girls would go easier on themselves. Children live best by example. Hmmm....yes, me and Chris are bent towards perfectionism. We know this and are working hard to throw our perfectionist ways aside and become more playful. The best way to learn this is to watch the girls and play right along with them. Easier said than done. Now that life is finally settling down our playful sides are resurfacing slowly.

I am knitting because it is fun and a new challenge for me. I don't want it to be a pressured task. Possibly, the girls will do the same and we will all learn to relax and enjoy the learning process a bit more.