Day Two on Autism:The Musical...Thoughts Inspired by Wyatt

Wyatt is the son of Diane. Diane and Wyatt are having a heart to heart about Wyatt’s school situation.

Wyatt says, “One hundred percent of kids are retarded.” (In regards to his placement in a special needs classroom)

The mom asks,” Where do you want to be? Are you bullied in school?”
“Yes. When bullies grow up they get meaner.”

Click on the image above to view Wyatt talking with his mother about bullies.

I can speak from experience that Wyatt knows his stuff when it comes to bullies.

Wyatt talks a lot about bullying. I can’t begin to accurately describe the intense passion with which Wyatt describes bullies and what it is like to be at school with bullies. He has charisma and charm that defies description.

Elaine has the children do an exercise where they get to act out being bullies. Wyatt says, “It’s fun being a bully!”

A woman asks, “When you go back to school what are you going to do with real bullies?”

Wyatt looks at the camera and with great joy says, “That’s the mystery in the camera!”

Everything that Wyatt said holds a lesson for us to learn. He has insight into his own Autism and what it means to be Autistic. Wyatt sits swinging gently speaking on what it means to be in his own world and wonders why other people retreat into their own world. He is truly a child full of insight and is working hard to process what he knows and share it with us. Wyatt, like many people with Autism is a natural born teacher.

Most people think a child like Wyatt would be easy to place in school? He seems to hold his own and can speak. As the film went on many were probably shocked to hear that the parents were struggling to find a proper school placement for Wyatt. What they described is our experience with Maizie…completely. I am very glad this topic was brought up in the film. An entire film could be made around the struggle of Autistic children in schools. Or better yet…all children with special needs in schools.

Greg, Wyatt’s father explains that they are going to see an advocate/lawyer to help place Wyatt in a new school. The typical schools are not meeting Wyatt’s needs. Wyatt is not happy in the special needs classroom and wants to be mainstreamed.

To the parents surprise the lawyer reminds them that Wyatt has very low cognitive function. His test scores are low. I am assuming the parents were going to take the school to due process in order to fight for a private placement that would be paid by the state. They were vague so I am not certain. What is the cost for this lawyer’s service? A mere $430 per hour. If the case goes to due process it would run anywhere from twenty five to one hundred grand. Later the father says, “We’re pretty much fucked.”

Oh, how I know that feeling. According to HBO’S site Wyatt was able to get into a school especially for children with special needs and is doing well.

I am certain that is not the end result for most of our children. I have written about advocating with the schools before by giving my top list of tips. Even with my ongoing advocacy training and success with securing one to one aides for other students I was unable to secure a good school match for my daughter. There are no good choices for her schooling where we live. Private schools that are specially designed for Autistic children do not exist here. There are more families choosing home schooling for their Autistic child. I don’t know if I would really describe it as a true choice for us. It is more of a last resort.

Like Wyatt, Maizie did not fit into a special needs classroom. She longed to be with the mainstream classroom but zoned out and had little comprehension while there. Maizie was continually paranoid that children were laughing at her even when it was evident they were not. Her social skills were far behind her peers and she sensed it. Every evening she would cry and scream over what she perceived to be happening at school. Eventually we had to act as if it was happening and withdraw her from school for the sake of her own sense of self.

I would love to know more about Wyatt’s struggles in school and how this new school has been better for him. The focus always seems to be on everything but helping the kids that are here now. The press is all about the vaccines, the environment, the struggle and very little attention is placed on schooling and what we can do right here…right now…to help our children and adults with Autism.

What kind of supports would be helpful? I will start by asking our children and adults with Autism what they need. But will I be listening? Are viewers really listening to what children with Autism are saying in Autism: The Musical?

In everyday life it seems many of us are busy arguing the cause or the cure for Autism. I have forced ‘techniques’ on my daughter that obviously go against who she is. All because I want her to conform, to fit in to a world that often excludes the very essence that is her. Why do I do that?

Wyatt, Maizie and many other children are talking to us and we are so far off into our own world that we are not listening. Could it be at all possible that I am sometimes the bully in Maizie’s life? I don’t intentionally hurt her and never want to cause her stress so by definition I am not a bully. There was an underlying message in regards to bullying that was so strong in this film I have to question myself. I can’t ignore it.

If I know that certain ‘techniques’ or daily situations I force my child into cause her negative stress and physically bother her and yet I persist does that make me a bully? Sometimes, for my own reasons I force her to follow through, I coerce her to make eye contact, to speak to someone she does not want to speak to, insist she eat what she can’t tolerate and touch what repulses her, to stay seated, to go to a store she begs me not to, to hug when she does not want to be touched, to conform and fit in when she can not…and the list goes on. There is a better way.

I believe Wyatt is on to something with his interest in bullying. Are we hearing him? What are we doing with the information our children are giving us? They are all speaking to us. Whether through written words, the spoken word, sign language, movement, music, aggression, silence or art…are you paying attention?