Thursday, October 2, 2008

New Day School & New Braces Make for a Spookily Tough Week

Nothing has been easy these last few days.

Within just a few days the Autism Center has told us so much of what we already know concerning Maizie. This is a relief. We had our first meeting where they explained areas they want to help Maizie with. That was a first. Normally, I would go to the public school IEP meetings with a prepared list of what Maizie needed help with. The school would rarely back me up on the plan. I would then take her for assessments with neurologists, psychologists, physical and occupational therapists and give their written recommendations to the school. After that, they were willing to provide needed services. If you can call it that? Not much was provided in our recent community. As many of you know the process is exhausting and was a major reason for choosing homeschooling. It has only been a few days but right now I am very impressed with the center.

The transition from homeschooling to the center has been exhausting for Maizie and me. She loves the place and is excited to attend. However, she comes home exhausted. Once home she begins to cry and yell at me for up to an hour or two. She moves the kitchen chairs around and is pretty much incoherent. We have seen this before which makes it easier to deal with. And yet, it seems to be causing me to spiral into post traumatic stress disorder since it has been so long that she has had cried and yelled like this. Not to mention it brings up my fears of the program not working for her. I remind myself this is expected the first week or even the first month.

This happens due to exhaustion and the total newness of everything involved. To top it all off this was the week she was scheduled to get the braces and expander on. That alone has been very difficult for her.

Yesterday she held very still while the nurse put on the braces. It took an hour and a half. Maizie did great. She holds a little too still. I watch as she holds her hands in the air or keeps then just above the chair she is on, floating in the air. Relaxing even just a bit is very difficult for her. Once they moved on to put in the expander she melted. Tears streaming down her cheeks. It was tough. The nurse decided it was best to do the expander today and I agreed with that. On the way to school after the braces were put on yesterday a bottom bracket just popped off. We had to turn around and have the bottom row taken off and fixed today. What a mess. I thought that was going to send Maizie over the edge but she took it all in stride.

Maizie's anxiety has been severe. She is not sleeping much...waking up at about three and proceeding to play, eat and make a real mess of her room and the living room. I check on her every so often and encourage sleep but time has taught me that fighting with her will not help matters. If she can not sleep, she won't. So today she went to school with sleepy eyes, a sore mouth and difficulty talking from the expander. With lack of sleep comes CVS bouts so I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Maizie said, "Mom. I can't talk anymore. I sound bad." Suddenly, Maizie went from fluent speech to sounding like she has a major lisp. She continued by crying, "Mom! I think I am going to be a different person now." Sigh.

Explaining all of this to her is exhausting. Just when I think she is understanding why she needs the expander she will say something like, "I will never be able to eat food again. I can't take this!" Learning to eat with the expander has been harder than I anticipated. She is having difficulty using a straw for ice cream shakes and managed to mush about a tablespoon of soft turkey up into the expander. I used the little tool they provided to dig it out as she cried and gagged. It was not pretty. While I was doing that I kept thinking, "Why did we agree to these braces?" But then I remembered we really don't have an alternative. Those teeth have to come down.

After each orthodontic session Maizie hugs me and sobs into my shoulder for the longest time. I am pleased with how kind and patient everyone at the office is with Maizie. The office is totally decked out for Halloween and she loves that. Notice the skeleton wearing braces above found in their yard outside. Very cute.

Tonight there has been no melt down. She is too exhausted. We had to go back to the orthodontist again this evening because she was pushing with her fingers on one of the end wires and cutting into her lip badly. Pushing on her teeth has been a habit of hers for a few months now. I think after our visit tonight she will be moving on to a new habit that does not involve her braces. Or at least I am praying she does.

Thanks again for all of your positive and encouraging comments. You all keep me going on those days when I just wanna curl up and go back to bed.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are a good Mom - no, you are a GREAT Mom.

Barbara

Anonymous said...

Oh, I forgot about the lisp. James cried about that.

Sorry it has been stressful, but I'm glad she likes her school. Hopefull it will even out.

Niksmom said...

Gosh, Marla, it sounds like there is so much MAJOR transition going on for Maizie that it's not at all surprising she's having some bad spots. BUT is sounds like she is doig so much better overall and really handling herself so beautifully/ I'm sure it doesn't *feel* like it while you are in the midst of it but, really, she is!

Have you talked to the staff at the A/C about Maizie's exhausted meltdowns at the end of the day? Maybe they can help with things like developing a specific calming routine that they do with her before she leaves for the day. Or maybe it might look like certain kinds of sensory (soothing)activities as soon as she gets home. I don't know, I'm just tossing things out. But I'd imagine they can help.

Same thing with the braces. Can the people at the A/C help with reinforcing social stories or speech excercises/activities that will help Maizie deal with the transition and the funny sensations (both physical amd emotional) she's having from the braces?

Just remember that the darkest hour is just before the dawn. I am envisioning a bright, beautiful, sunny day for you all. xoxo

Melissa Jo said...

awe, that poor peanut!my heart just broke for her reading that! I'm glad that she likes the new school. I hope she will adjust in a few weeks. Meanwhile,YOU hang in there!I know you can!
loves ya!

Julie L. said...

As my mom always said "This too shall pass." It's too bad the braces had to be fixed right away. Oh, dear. I still remember what it was like to have braces put on and it wasn't all that pleasant. Hope the transition from school to home gets easier. My guy still has trouble with that sometimes.

Sheri said...

Changes are never fun. I am so very sorry you both are having to deal with both these things in the same week. Here's to hoping all these times pass soon. . . you're in our thoughts.

Anne Corwin said...

Ugh, wow - I have bizarrely straight teeth (not sure how that happened!) and so have never had braces, but it never sounded very fun! Between the pain and the sensory overload of having people poking around in your mouth, I can definitely see how Maizie would find it less than pleasant. :/ I don't like going to the dentist even just for cleanings (I do it anyway because I don't want to lose my teeth) simply because it is so uncomfortable to be confined like that and have to hold my mouth open, etc. Last time I felt like they were drowning me with the water jet thing too!

I am sure having school starting AND getting used to braces is probably contributing to a lot of transition difficulty and exhaustion. Though it sounds like the school actually has a clue, at least. I definitely wish your family the best of luck with all that.

(and I felt a lot like it sounds like Maizie did after work today - ugh. I got into the car and couldn't talk for a while and felt like crying all the way home. I seem to need a lot more decompression time than most people with similar work, but it's hard to acknowledge that sometimes. :/)

little.birdy said...

Ugh, braces! I remember those days well. They are never fun. I never had an expander, but I do remember talking funny after first getting my various oral devices. I did get used to it. Hope everything starts going a little more smoothly!

Essential Amy said...

It sounds like there is a lot going on at your house these days! I agree with the poster who said to ask the school for some help. It sounds like a really supportive place and maybe they have some things they can put in place which will make the transistion easier. Plus the fact once Maizies anxiety is in check, she will sleep better and hence not be so exhausted when she comes home.
Hugs to you!!!! It sounds like the anticipation of the meltdown is just as stressful as the meltdown itself.

Pregnantly Plump said...

I'm sorry you guys are having such a rough week. Those expanders do hurt, it's been years, but I remember how uncomfortable they are.
I'm glad the orthodontist is understanding. Are they letting Maizie pick colors of the bands on the braces. I really enjoyed doing that the first year I wore braces. I'm pretty sure I did orange and black for Halloween.
I hope the adjustment to the school won't take a month.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I'm so sorry for you both! My son had braces and it was not fun. He is NT so he didn't react the way Maizie did but he complained that they hurt and he had trouble sleeping.
Braces are well worth the effort and the expense. He wore them for six years and his teeth are straight and beautiful today. The pain gets easier with time. Yes, every so often they have to be tightened and they start to hurt again but nowhere near as bad as they do when they're first put on.
I used to teach autistic kids and I know change is very difficult; even small changes. The braces and the new school at the same time must be really messing with her head!
As for being a different person, yes, she will be a different person. We are all different people every day. I think if you show her some pictures of her when she was younger and talk about how everybody goes through gawky/awkward/painful stages before they blossom into adulthood it may make it easier for her. the story of the ugly duckling is a good one, not that she's ugly of course. Quite the opposite!
She's struggling with what every tween goes through but it's more intense for her.
Good luck! I love reading about you and Maizie.
-Jill

Anonymous said...

Marla,
Big hugs. When Melanie had her braces and spacer, it was tough at first, but she did adjust. She loved getting to pick the different colors. My biggest problem with her was getting her to keep them clean. Constant battle. Now that they are off, they look amazing, so it was worth it. I hope she hangs in there with them on the tough days.

I am glad you are happy with the Autism Center. It is about time someone in the community gets it, really gets it. I am sure, like you said, it is just a matter of her getting back into the routine of things. That can be tough and can take a while.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, and saying lots of prayers .
XXXXXXXX

Tara said...

Change can be tough. And you have several going on at once! My thoughts are with you as you ride this out.

Col said...

Hi Marla, it's so great to hear that the Autism Centre are 'on the same page'. Hopefully the exhaustion and intensity will ease up for you both. I often find new places incredibly overstimulating (even when I'm happy to go there), when I first started back at university I'd be exhausted and hyperactive by the time I got home.

I'm in awe of how well Maizie is dealing with braces. The dentist is very tough for me, but braces! Wow. At the age of 30-something I burst into incoherent tears at the dentists at the news that I would have to have a root canal and crown. I knew how long that would mean in that awful chair, with the bright lights and what feels like a cast of thousands poking around in your mouth. I also hold myself very rigid in the chair. If I need dental work done it means a day off work, a morning appointment and then coming home and watching DVDs all day in a post-dentist stupor. I'm rambling I know, what I'm trying to say is that little gal of yours is doing so well.

As always, thinking of you and sending a supportive virtual hug your way.

floating in space said...

Take it from a former snaggle-toothed teenager...even though the expander is a nightmare, it is so well worth it. Hang in there Maizie!

Drama Mama said...

Hang in there, guys!

Anonymous said...

Aw, what a tough week! We have an orthodontist appointment tomorrow *sigh* -- just an initial consult so it shouldn't be too bad. I sure hope things get easier really quickly for both of you -- hugs!

kristina said...

talk about doing everything at once! new school, braces (that is so huge---I can't even think of getting those for Charlie). I have learned, like you, that when Charlie is up he is up and I just have to let be---he's gone to school with a fuzzy head after waking at 5am (which I guess is not too bad as things go). I remember getting braces and having headaches and aches on my face, not to mention the very strange sensation of wires in my mouth. She is really hanging in there----thinking of all of you.

kristi said...

Bless her heart. I know this is hard on all of you.