I was Robbed! Well....kinda.

Today Maizie was up at three a.m. worrying. Joe was handling her for the most part so I did get better sleep than he did. Poor guy. What would I do without him?!

The day was a low key day...hanging around home and then talking Maizie into taking a nap around noon in the hopes that her "lovely" mood would improve. We cuddled while watching Barbie Magic of the Rainbow. Wahoo! I snuck in my ear plugs and said,"mmmm...hmmmm" whenever Maizie pointed out things in the movie. She fell asleep after forcing me to remove my ear plugs and saying, "I am waiting for the sleep to happen but it won't! I close my eyes but they won't sleep!" I encourage her to watch the movie and relax.

Finally, I felt the smooth sleepy breathing rhythm and knew it was safe for me to pass out. I promptly put my ear plugs back in and drifted off to La La land. Before I knew it she was up and bouncing on the bed. Way too soon. I think we slept about 30 minutes. I was praying for three hours! Geesh. God must not have been listening to my pre-nap prayer. Bummer.

After our nap we went downstairs for what was to be Maizie's millionth snack for the day. Or at least that is what it feels like.

I read some of my depraved book and debated looking over my history work but thought better of it and went back to reading more about Tucker Max.

At four the babysitter arrived and I was off for my most favorite place in the world. My gynecologists office. Wahoo! I was soooooooo excited. No, really...I was somewhat excited since last week I was cancelled on at the last minute. I want to get going with my decision and talking with the doctor is the only way for me to make my decision.

Anyway, I turned on the radio and was singing some lame song and decided I was starving and did not want to see the doctor on an empty stomach. What if I felt shaky and queasy as she described what nasty procedures they were thinking about performing on me? No way. I pull into Mc Donald's and order one cheeseburger and french fries. I was tempted to get a nice big fountain beverage but my bladder screamed no! I drank my boring water instead.

I place the order, pull up to the window and wait. Finally, the guy comes over and I grab my wallet. Open it up and....ta da! Everything in my wallet was gone! I mean everything! I am surprised I did not notice a weight difference to my purse since the darn thing is so full of stuff. Never any cash though. I wish.

Okay...so I feel panic rush through me and I begin to sweat unattractively. The guy is staring at me and sees my wallet. I begin digging through my purse as if my wallet would have accidentally emptied itself within it. I finally say, "Well...it...um...looks like I don't have any way to pay. I am sorry. I will just sit here till the guy in front of me drives off." The guy just stares at me like I am a total moron.

It felt like I had to sit there...trapped... with this clerk giving me annoying looks for way too long. The car in front of me must have been ordering for a family of twelve or something. Finally, I drive off and begin to wonder where and when I was robbed!

I realize I have not left the house since Sunday to go to Putt Putt. I had no purse then. Hmmmm....did someone come into the house and rob me? Surely not, but heck...who knows. I heard this happened to our next door neighbor last year. A woman came up to his door and asked to use the phone, he turned to get it and when he turned back she was gone and so was his wallet. Yup...that's reason number twenty two that we have a sign on our door that reads...No Selling, No Phone, No Rides and No Preaching! We have had every kind of request you can think of living here.

Okay, back to my story. I was wondering who could have robbed me and then I thought of the culprit. My darling little angel child...Maizie. But when? Ah, she was up at three in the morning and probably had some time when we did not even know she was up. She is like that. Always has been since she could crawl. One time when she was three we found her sitting on our kitchen bar with both of her arms painted green.

We have our house locked up like Fort Knox ever since she escaped at age two and we found her sitting outside on the front porch wet and crying at five in the morning. What a nightmare! I cried for days after that happened. We have also taken to locking up medications and cutlery since she was up once trying to cut apart some paper toy with a knife. We have even alarmed her door with a chime alarm so we know when she is in one of her sleepless states. As you can tell we don't always use it.

Boy, I am not focusing tonight. Back to the real issue. My lack of funds and identification. I call the doctor and as always they are running behind so I drive all the way back home. Maizie and the sitter are playing barbies. They are shocked to see me. I very calmly ask Maizie if she by any chance got into my purse and took all of my cards and stuff out of it. She gives me this "deer trapped in head lights" stare. I wait. She is trying to form some words and finally she says, "Yes. I needed it really bad for my Hello Kitty Wallet." I calmly explain to her that my wallet is how I pay for appointments, food and it has my insurance card in it. I request that she stay out of my purse from then on.

She begins wandering around her room and I ask her to give me the Hello Kitty Wallet. She says,"I think I put it....." Oh, no. Maizie is notorious for putting things in really really strange places and we don't find them for days later. I say a quick prayer asking Saint Anthony to help me find the wallet real quick like. I go straight to a drawer and find it beneath several coloring books. Thank you Saint Anthony! (My Grandma taught me that)
I give Maizie a big hug and kiss. I tell her I love her. Our incredible, wonderful and amazing sitter Amanda is waiting patiently for me downstairs and we smile and laugh knowingly. Never a dull moment.