I Want to Be Alone and Mindy is Not Shaving

I feel like I have not left this house for days...no months. In all actuality I was out of the house just yesterday. I went to the doctor and two different Walgreen's. I guess what I meant to say is...I have not been alone in this house for days. I have not been alone anywhere for any length of time. I need some alone time. Very quiet and very alone time.

Well, now I have it and I am choosing to write a quick blog. Joe had the idea to get a baby gate for the kitchen to keep the puppy in or out of the kitchen. I immediately said, "You and Maizie should go right now and get one!" And they did. Ah, peace and quiet. Stella is back in her crate and Darwin is staring out the front window and the crickets are too loud, but I am used to that.

I wanted Joe to take Stella along and get the gate at Pet Smart. Nope. He was not having that. He wanted to go to Target. Hmmmmm.....I suddenly had very mixed emotions. I wanted to cry because I want to go to Target too! I always want to go to Target. Chances are if you call me up and you want me to go to Target with you, I will. So when Joe wants to go to Target when I want to get some peace and quiet around here I feel conflicted. Bummer. Usually he goes to Meijers. I don't drool for Meijers like I do Target. In fact I will do anything not to go to Meijers or Wal Mart or Scotts or Krogers or anywhere other than Target. I do like the Fresh Market though.

It struck me then that I could not go to Target even if I wanted to. I can barely walk to the bathroom without feeling like I need to sit down and take a break. My belly drain is still visible and I don't really care to be seen with it or with my protruding and misshapen swollen belly. I really am trapped at home. Argh! I can't even drive until I am off of the pain medications. I have thought about stopping them but I can't get past my belly feeling like someone is using a blowtorch on the inside of it. That feeling just requires pain meds.
Guess what?! Joe's company Radvision sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a 'get well soon' balloon today. I was so hoping I would get some flowers so I was pretty excited. Mindy came over with her daughter Maralyn today and that was great too. We sat around and talked about food with Joe. We ate his latest apple pie and discussed shaving or Mindy's lack of shaving lately. She has blonde hair and mine is very dark brown so she can get away with not shaving. If I don't shave I look like I want to be an ape or something crazy. I always shave. Daily....with a smile. Always. Oops. I lost what I was talking about. Food. They both like to cook... so every now and then I would get this real vacant stare but I was enjoying the conversation anyway. At one point though everyone was talking, the dogs were playing and the t.v. was going and I thought I was freaking out. I could not hear anyone and everything seemed extra loud. I had to shut off the television, sent the puppy to bed, insisted the girls play in Maizie's room and then I was able to focus. Being on drugs is difficult. I don't know how people manage daily recreational use at all.

Later in the day Cindy called and asked if we needed anything. Joe had her pick up a loaf of bread for me since I am totally loving cinnamon and sugar toast prepared by Joe (it has to be prepared by someone else) with real butter. I had eight pieces this morning. I wanted more. Cindy gladly picked up a loaf and stopped by. Best of all she brought me some Swedish Fish! Lord have Mercy! I was thrilled. Not just any ol' Swedish Fish. These were the mixed colors from Fresh Market. My favorite. I plan on eating them later tonight while Joe and I watch some movie we just got in from Net Flix. If I can stay awake that long. I love my friends. I had Joe hide the Swedish Fish and made him promise he would not eat any of them. The last batch I had he insisted on eating a lot of them. He even took the bag out and sat down with them like they were his. Just imagine. He told me he bought them and that meant he could eat them. Oh, that really sent me over the edge.

Joe cleaned up the house today. It was looking real bad. He forgot to clean the toilet so I will have to talk to him about that later. He will love me bringing that up. He worked at teaching Maizie how to vacuum. It was so cute. She is getting the hang of it. Joe had to be pretty specific about why you have to try and go over as much of the carpet as possible. She eventually said it was a lot of work and moved on to greater endeavours.

I brought up that I had real reservations concerning Joe returning to the dungeon to work tomorrow. I was nervous to bring this up to Joe since he is somewhat of a workaholic. He took it great though and agreed I was not ready for him to return to work. Luckily Radvision was very understanding and let him take the rest of the week off. Taking care of Maizie in the state I am in is not easy. It has really been stressing her out that I am laying around and all. This morning we had it out with one another. She wanted to watch Diego. I refused to have anything on the television where whining is the main point. It seemed very reasonable that if she wanted to watch Diego she could go up to her room and watch it. That did not go over well and before I knew it Joe was helping us come to a compromise. We both agreed to watch Austin Powers 'Gold Member'. An old favorite that we both enjoy.

I am pretty sure she thought that I would be magically healed after the surgery and be up and running around better than ever. Time is a concept Maizie has yet to grasp. Joe was trying to explain to her again tonight that we were eating dinner so it is night time. She was thinking it was lunch time. We go through this every day and it never gets any easier. Regression is in the air too. When stress this big hits home Maizie regresses emotionally and educationally. It will pass. Once I am better she will remember how to spell, be in her room alone and not be so easily upset. I doubt she will have the whole time thing figured out by then though. Oh, well.

My eyes are having a difficult time focusing now. I may break open those Swedish Fish.